Fear

My deepest fear is not being trapped in a cage with hungry anacondas, or being at the centre of a tropical storm, nor is it standing at the shores of the Indian Ocean and seeing a tsunami coming my way and not knowing what to do.

My biggest fear is loving and losing you. I fear the feelings that will come when you are all I live for, when every breath I take is dedicated to you, when every prayer I make is me thanking the Lord for taking the time to create you in His image, cause darling you are a mirror image of Him to me.

My deepest fear is that of the night our souls dance to the rhythm of the whispering winds as they merge and become one in two. The involuntary  giggles as you play the song "Where I Wanna be" and you sing out of key, "I'm where I wanna be, I'm where I should be, in your arms, in your heart....." I fear the worry I will have when I wake up, and you are not there, but smile when I read the note you left on the pillow for me.

My deepest fear is the day I hear Beyonce's Resentment in a room full of people. I fear I won't be able to hold the tears as the memories of the times shared flood and drown me. I fear somebody will notice when I fake a smile and quickly leave the room to go shed a tear in private.

My biggest fear is the day you look at me, and tell me that you and her are working things out, or that you have found somebody new, or that you never loved me, not in that way.

I'm a prisoner of fear, I am not letting go, fear is all have, fear is all I know. I may lose you cause of fear, I may never get to know how it really feels to be really loved by you. Call me a coward, call me stupid, but my deepest fear is not being a life sentence serving prisoner.

With Faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains.

By A Close Friend, Pearl Nemo Hlophe
Twitter : @Mak_Nemz